Letter from Bobb, the Fish

Okay, okay, so I’m not really a fish–I’m a minnow. Not very big. But I’m gonna be a fish someday, a really big fish. Not much going on here. Yesterday at the Fish Academy, a group of sea trout were swimming round and round with protest signs clamped under one flipper (all they could do was go in circles!). Their signs read:

Water Doesn’t Exist! Water is an Illusion! Water is Dead!

Stuff like that. It made the professorfishes pretty mad. But all very interesting to me, a minnow, because our Sundayfish had been telling us that our ocean is kind of a Sea of Sorrows. And that the Godfish doesn’t live down here, but up above us in heavenly world called Aire. And God looks like a huge golden blowfish, a fish that’s on fire (wow!).

Only no one can swim up to see Him because Aire isn’t anything we can get a flipper into. Pretty hard to swallow! But Sundayfish said this was true because our flyingfish can actually jump into the Aire for a few seconds and have caught glimpses of Him. I sure wish I was a flyingfish!

Anyway, all of this gave me a fishmare: I dreamed I got jerked up into the Aire and I saw God! He was a big fat two-legged creature with a rod! Sipping on a red and white can, making hideous belches! I sure was glad to get back down into our nonexistent, illusory, dead water! I told all this to the psychefish and he took notes and nodded his head.

Not much going on here. Well, it’s only water. I just keep swimming around in it, same old stuff. Tunas, sharks and silverfish flash around me. Whales lumber by. A squid passes liquidly before my liquid eyes. Not much news. Where is this so-called God? Sundayfish says God will reveal himself to me. I’ve been looking high and low. I sure don’t see anything. I want to see a burning fish! I want to hear a thunderous voice from the deep saying, “Bobb! Go do this miracle for Me!

Of course I never hear anything like that. Just the usual stuff: “Bobb, clean your room!” and “Bobb, take out the trash!” Stuff like that.

What’s that underwater chipmunk chattering sound? That underwater conchshell blowing sound? That’s just dolphins chattering. Just whales OOM-ing around. They believe in God I suppose, at least they sound like they do. Maybe they see something I don’t. I’m just a minnow. But I’m gonna be big someday. What? What’s that thunderous pulsing light from the deeps? Yea, and verily, a deep too deep for me!

Oh, all right, I’ll swim down there, even though it’s such a chore for my little fins. You don’t ask much, do you? Yeah, okay. That’s just a seamount, a volcano spewing up glowing clouds of lava. Keeps right on puffing like a dragon, puffing itself up until it rises right out of the sea. Makes a heck’uva racket, doesn’t it? No big deal. I’ve seen them before. The chemfishes say they add nutrients to the water. Nothing to do with me.

This is Bobb, the Fish, signing off. I just wonder what God is doing right now? I wonder what it’s like to be a golden blowfish high in the Aire? Nothing much going on here. See you later.       Phil

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